


Too Weird to Live

by Doctor_Benzedrine



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: 1 am chapter, 3 am fic, Based on Panic! at the Disco album, Bored Knock Out is bored, Breakdown is tired of Knock Out’s shit, Chosen one reader, Drinking, Fourth Wall Breaking, I'm Bad At Tagging, Las Vegas, Lyft shenanigans, Morally ambiguous Knock Out, Other, Reader is college student, Reader-Insert, Use of Fleshy, bad grammar, bad introduction, multi-chapter reader insert, pop punk references, possible smut is possible, self indulgent piece, short first chapter, this was writen while I was meant to be studying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-09 07:26:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13476606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Benzedrine/pseuds/Doctor_Benzedrine
Summary: It’s your 21st birthday and you’re celebrating it like many others; in Vegas drinking and casino-hopping, being irresponsible and forgetting about your classwork. In the midst of your holiday, you’re met by an entirely too eager Lyft driver... who turns out to be an alien robot. Who knew?





	1. Vegas Lights

**Author's Note:**

> General reader insert tags apply. Feel free to let your imagination run wild. For the sake of making this piece gender neutral, I am leaving attire up to you by putting options in parenthesis - enjoy. 
> 
> (Y/N) - your first name  
> (L/N) - last name  
> (H/C) - hair colour  
> (M) - major  
> (C) - college  
> (H/T) - hometown
> 
> (B/F/N) - best friend’s name

‘in the vegas lights  
where villains spend the weekend  
the deep end  
we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown  
the vegas lights  
the lies and affectations  
sensation  
we’re winning 'til the curtain's coming down’

 _ **YOU**_ don’t know what you’re feeling right now. Your head is pounding. This feeling is new to you. Throughout your college career, you’ve been the type to stay in and not be involved with the party scene. However, your best friend insisted on the two of you going on a trip for your 21st. So, here you are - stumbling around outside in the cold air wearing (a dress that’s way too short/a suit that’s far too formal and horribly uncomfortable). People around you are laughing and your face is a bright red colour. You’re undoubtably drunk and (B/F/N) is nowhere to be found. _Great._

 _Of course they would disappear now of all times. It’s probably another one of their schemes._ You grown and pick up your phone, opening your app. You mindlessly request a vehicle and wait.

“Red,” You mutter aloud, running a hand through your hair. That shouldn’t be so hard to spot, considering most vehicles are gray and black - normal colours. You imagine that your driver is going to think they’re better than you and make fun of you - that they’ll drive a nicer vehicle than you do and notice how drunk you are. You push your anxieties aside as you wrap a jacket around your shoulders and realize that they’re just a driver. You’ll know them for all of an hour - just long enough to get to your hotel.

“You’re in a bad way, aren’t you?” A voice calls out to you as the passenger side door opens. That’s it. Even your Lyft driver is out to get you. This birthday _**sucks!**_

“You don’t have to rub it in,” You utter in response, sliding in beside the well dressed man with bright red hair. “My first time getting hammered wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I’m sick, tired, and my friend just left me here, in the middle of Las Vegas, so I’d have to get picked up by a shady driver with a Gerard Way haircut who sounds like Cosmo and Mr.Turner morphed with that one weird ass janitor from Ned’s Declassified to the point where it’s almost sexy.”

“And that was almost a compliment.” The driver chuckles. “I could drive you to your hotel, or I could do you a favor. I would expect one in return of course.”

“I don’t know what you’re on about, but I’m not stupid. I’ve seen all the movies. I may be miserable but I’m certainly not ready to die.”

“Calm down, _fleshy.”_

“Okay, that was super rude and demeaning - if you could just b-“

“I was just going to offer you a tour. I’m awfully bored, you see. You can’t exactly see Vegas, much less Nevada from a casino or doubled over in front of a toilet.”

“You aren’t actually a Lyft driver are you?”

“What gave it away? The fact that most Lyft drivers drive _pathetic_ vehicles, or the fact that I’m far more handsome than the average driver?”

“Not full of yourself at all are you?” You roll your eyes and begin to place your legs on the dash only to be slapped away. “Hey!”

“I’m being _nice,_ don’t get too comfortable. Now about that that favor, it doesn’t stand for very long. A word to the wise - I’d get offended if you say no and might actually kick you out in the middle of nowhere.”

“Well that’s reassuring. What about my returning the favor to my gracious and humble host?”

“Nothing too huge. I wouldn’t worry about it.” A smirk itches across his face and for a split second you actually believe his face is spurting out. It’s probably just the fact that you’ve had too much to drink. You rub your eyes and actually relax. “Five-“ He begins to count down, a certain aire to his voice. It’s almost sing-song.

“Okay, fine, but if you do decide to kill me, tell my best friend that they suck.”

“Will do.” With that, your eccentric, makeshift Lyft driver begins to drive away, past the Vegas lights and sounds, the various tourists and workers. He speeds past it all, not shutting up, describing how wonderful he is, as well as his vehicle, among the various sights and sounds. You yawn and drift off as he drives on into the Nevada desert, going God knows where.


	2. Worse than Nicotine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You awake in the presence of your annoyingly eager Lyft driver. He reminds you that you owe him a favor, and it’s in your best interest to help him, considering the surprise he has in store for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than the last one by a few hundred words! The grammar is still off because I’m writing these so late and not putting them through grammar checker. However, this was fun to write and I hope you enjoy!

_Just one more hit and then we're through_   
_'Cause you could never love me back_   
_Cut every tie I have to you_   
_'Cause your love's a fucking drag_

“Oh good, you’re awake!” You rub your eyes and yawn as you realize you’re still in the presence of your mysterious Lyft driver. “That was a long stasis nap. I was beginning to think that you wouldn’t wake up and I’d be stuck with you.”

“Sorry for disappointing you.” You roll your eyes and hug your knees, still feeling sick to your stomach and suffering from a draining headache. What other symptoms will arise? “Any chance that you could drive me to my hotel room?” You ask, hopeful.

A laugh comes from the seat beside you, loud, booming almost. “You still owe me a favor, remember?” Oh shit. “I’m not patient and don’t like waiting. I have a proposition.”

“...I’m listening.”

“Why don’t you take me back to your place - your home? Hotels are much too crowded, and you were annoyed with your friend anyways. It’s a win, win situation, and believe me, I’m not in the business of losing. Just take a look at my beautiful racing stripes.” This man seems far too eager. You don’t think you trust his sing-song voice. There have been far too many horror stories of college students taking handsome men home with them to face disastrous outcomes. However, you do owe him a favor.

With a grimace, you gaze to your left - holy shit. This car is driving itself. You let out a gasp, as a spurting image of your lift driver appears once more. “So, where are we headed?”

“I-I’m sorry - you were there, then you weren’t, and now you are again?” You rub your eyes, as the image fades once more. You swear you can hear a giggle come from your companion.

“Surprise, surprise.” The image is gone completely now as the car steers itself. Oh God, it’s the robot Lyft driver from Hell. “You’re smarter than you look, and I don’t usually compliment those clearly below me.”

“Okay, ouch. I’m pretty sure I have more of a reputation than a sexy car.”

“Sexy, that’s nice. Why don’t you say it again?”

“...Sexy?”

“Music to my ears.”

“You don’t have those.” He laughs, as you cross your arms, clearly disgruntled by this situation.

“You catch on quick, now about my favor, I look forward to my personal tour. I’ll drive and you can be the guide, though I don’t suppose you have much of a choice.”

You should be panicking right now, but this feels much like absurdist dreams do. You’re in a talking vehicle speeding through Nevada. You should just play along until you wake up. This could teach you some sort of lesson, offer some sort of consequences before your 21st birthday. “Tell me your name first. I wasn’t able to properly thank you for the tour you offered me.”

“You’re too kind. I admire someone who can treat their body properly. I’m Knock Out, respectively.”

“Respectively what?”

“Respectively.”

“...Okay? Nice to meet you properly, Knock Out. I’m (y/n).”

“I knew that already,” he responds. You hate the way he always uses the same stupid tone of voice. It’s ridiculously annoying. “Your Lyft application told me.”

“Well, this dream is really starting to creep me out. I’d like to wake up now!” You call out to unforeseen force. You’re stuck. It’s almost paralysis. You can move around in this dream and it feels incredibly real to you, but you can’t do wake up.

“Your address, sweetspark. I have some business I need to attend to, and I’m not prepared to leave empty handed.”

You tell him nervously, scratching your neck.

“This isn’t a stasis nap, I’m afraid. You’re stuck with your charming and handsome host until I get what I’m after. Then, if you’re lucky, I’ll drop you off at your hotel and you can go back to getting drunk with your disrespectful lackey.” He drives onwards, speeding you’re sure, en route to your home.

“Now tell me, what do you know of Energon?”

You’re clueless. You shrug your shoulders in response and lean against the headrest of the seat you’re sitting in. To be honest, you’re utterly horrified. This car you don’t know knows where you live. He’s driving there right now, and there’s a chance he could harm you or your family. You don’t much care about your friend right now - they kind of suck, but that’s besides the point. A shutter goes down your spine, as you hear this vehicle - Knock Out as he calls himself - get frustrated.

“Nothing? Tsk, tsk. You humans are so uncultured. It’s offensive, really.”

Humans? This car is an alien? Great! You wish you had Scully and Mulder on speed dial so you could tell them you’ve been kidnapped by a vehicle, but they probably wouldn’t believe you in the first place. “Sorry, I know nothing about energy. Physical science isn’t exactly my strong point.”

“Energon.” He chuckles. “It’s only the most valuable substance for any Cybertronian.”

“What does Energon have to do with me? Why did you pick me up, out of all the stumbling, drunk individuals around?”

“For one, you were the most interesting human around - not a compliment. It’s also apparent to me that you live near a - quarry of sorts?”

You nod your head, though you aren’t sure in which direction to nod it, so your nod becomes more of a bop. “Yes, so?”

“There’s a trace amount of Energon hidden in locations on your Earth. I am going to find Energon in your quarry, and you’re going to help me sneak in to your quarry: simple.”

“Not entirely.” You give Knock Out a nervous smile. “K/O,”

“I like that. It rolls splendidly - juicy.”

“K/O, you’re a bright red sports car. That doesn’t scream subtle - it’s the very opposite. We need a disguise if we’re going to get into the quarry.”

“Going undercover, hmm? I like that idea. It’s cute.” You roll your eyes. “However, I’m not willing to change my vehicle mode for such a minuscule reason. Why don’t you sneak in, and then help me find my way into the quarry behind you?”

“That’s easier said than done, you know! I can’t use the fact that you’re an alien vehicle to my advantage and I’m not exactly dressed for the occasion.”

“Why don’t you stage it like this-“ He hasn’t even started yet, and you’re already exhausted from an explanation of one of his hairbrained schemes. “You are a lovely human journalist doing a story on the local rock quarry. I’m your pretty vehicle, since you’re fairly well known in the community, and in your internship. While you interview the buffoon in charge, I’ll do my job and mine the Energon.”

“I’ve got to break it to you, that’s a great plan. It’s almost - human.”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing, Nothing.”

“That’s what I thought you said - nothing. We’ll carry out my brilliant plan. In the meantime, you need some rest, and so do I. I’ll drive you home, and I can wait it out in your garage.”

“I don’t live alone. My family sees you and I’m in big trouble.”

“I’ll wait on the curb then. I’ll be your handsome new neighbor.”

“You’re awful, worse than nicotine.”

“That makes me addictive.”

“And toxic!” The car door opens as you’re left wondering what you’ve gotten yourself into. You’re about to help this alien from a planet you’ve never heard of use a substance you’ve never heard of to do unknown, probably terrible, things. The thought makes you sick to your stomach - or maybe that’s the alcohol. You stumble into your room, closing and locking your door as you open the window ever so slightly, as to let a breeze in. Your “neighbor” flashes his headlights at you, and you roll your eyes, flopping into your bed. As you drift off, you swear you can hear him talking.

“Breakdown, I’ve found it, the Energon.” You’re not sure what this means and you don’t much care, falling asleep, incredibly nervous about what the future bolds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I love writing K/O and I’m slowly but surely finding his voice. However, any tips would be helpful! Thanks again for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was an interesting(ly dull) beginning. This is being written due to my being incredibly gay for TFP: Knock Out and Knock Out in general. This was written whenever I took a break from studying so the grammar and mechanics are off but I hope you enjoyed and look forward to part two!


End file.
